Last week I was feeling somewhat under appreciated at work. Yes, even in the law librarian world there is office politics and a social hierarchy in the affiliated professional organizations. But after being bitter about it for an afternoon, I realized that I stopped needing to feel validation from others to feel like an intelligent and worthwhile person. If I was looking for external validation, then I certainly would have never become a law librarian.
This led to a larger realization, that sometime in the past five years I have almost entirely stopped caring about how others view me. That doesn't mean that I go around being rude to people for no reason, because that isn't the kind of person that I want to be. Rather, it means I don't care if I speak my mind and someone dislikes me as the result of that. I don't care if one day I am galloping down the sidewalk with Knightley because he wants to run (and I still am wearing the dress that I wore to work that day) and people stare at me like I am crazy. I just don't care.
Case in point, I used to refuse to have pictures taken of me. Or if they were taken of me, I refused for them to be seen because in 9 out of 10 of them, I would look fat or I would be blinking, or my hair would be askew, etc. etc. etc. So only the pristine, Leslie approved ones could be viewed in public. But those pictures only reflect 1/10 of reality. Most days, life isn't perfect. Something is askew. Heck, I am chubby and I like food too much to say no when I sometimes should. That is reality.
So here to reflect that realization, are the other 9 out of 10 shots that wouldn't before have seen the light of day. In each of these pictures, I do not look good. Something is wrong. But I believe that a blog should reflect actual reality, and not just those too cute, too posed, too perfect days.
Here's to the rest of reality.
Hair blown in imperfect ways:
Awkward dancing moves causing my stomach to look like it goes on and on and on (not to mention the painful look on my face; If I knew that I looked this bad every time doing the "Pencil Sharpener", then I might not do it so much. Wait, that's not true; Now, I know I look like this, but at every dance party, I still break it out.).