Monday, July 18, 2005

on exes and ends

I have been in Seattle for six weeks now. I have a house to live in, but no job...yet. I could make myself insane with worry on that one issue, but I am trying to just focus on my other big concern right now, studing for the bar exam. It is next week.

Last week I had dinner with two of my old roommates from the Sunshine House days in Provo. One of these old roommates just moved to Seattle from Las Vegas. It just so happened that while she lived in Las Vegas, she worked at J. Crew and on occasion, when home during law school breaks from Harvard, an ex-boyfriend who is now married would ask how I was doing. That is something incredibly small, but it just made my day. It isn't because I still have feelings for this person, but rather, I just thought it to be an extremely kind gesture. It is remarkable to think that this person that I used to care so much about at least in my view of things, wanted to make sure that I am well and happy. It is proof of his good manners and politeness, but after all of these years, it made me happy because it was evidence that he really did care about me at some point in time. That is evidence that is useful, when these days I have been feeling so utterly forgettable.

Then of course, there is the marriage of another ex-boyfriend of mine and his pending graduate school days at Harvard. Unfortunately, for him, I do not have such kind things to say, in part because he lacks all of the polite social graces of the previous ex-boyfriend.

But for the good-ex, I want to tell him that aside from my currently unemployed state, I am doing well. I am in a beautiful place. I have good friends. And I have someone in my life now who is right for me and who treats me very well (for my birthday - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and great food). So I am doing better than fine. I am happy.