Thursday, March 24, 2005

the little things

the man always on my train ride home from work, walking through the cars, selling batteries.

the corner of my block where there always is a homeless man sitting over the gutter, drinking a two liter of pepsi. it is never the same man, but it is always a two liter of pepsi.

the little girl who cried in my office yesterday at 5pm because she felt guilty for having someone arrested.

these little things - these are the things that i don't know if i can resolve in new york city. these are the things that make me want to run away, but then make me want to stay.

but the big things are the reason why i have to go. the big things that should make up my life...
the 5:00 am crying sessions after saying goodbye - that must stop. i need to be happy.

in "The Secret Lives of Bees" May has a wailing wall where she stuffs papers carrying the weight of the world. i feel like i need that sometimes - a place to pay homage to the seeming injustice and sadness that consumes this place.

but when i am with him, i don't feel the weight of the world. i feel like i can take risks and succeed and that good might actually win out in the end.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

go heels!

Unfortunately, I cannot be objective this year during March Madness. I know that it is going to be harmful to my bracket picks, because no matter how poorly North Carolina played during the ACC tournament, I have to have them winning it all. This year it could be feasible, that is, if they play up to their potential. So my brackets all depend on the success of my Tarheels. And I am quite nervous about their chances.

These past few weeks have been all about basketball, and that is not such a good thing. DJ and I do not like the same basketball teams, and so that is a problem, even though it is a silly arguing over something so insignificant. Why do sports engender such emotion?

Other than watching basketball, my life has been pretty routine. Today I had to deal with the fact that there were no East Side subways running. So, it took me a long time to get to work; the bus ride across town to catch a West side train was quite painful. Then I have to come to work and deal with the incompetence of the Department of Probation and how they single-handedly seem to screw up every case that I have going for me in court.

It is days like this when I can't wait to get out of this dirty, inefficient, crowded city.