I have been negligent of the blog.
It is because I am obsessed with hurricanes. I am fearing that Hurricane Ivan is going to destroy the part of my beach that hasn't already been ruined by the greedy developers who have slowly turned Pensacola Beach into a middle class tourist nightmare. Part of me would be relieved - to laugh in the face of the developers whose million dollar high rise investments are now ruined because of the disappearance of the island under their pilings. Part of me would gloriously praise nature for reclaiming the barrier island that belongs to her from the grubby hands of Atlanta businessmen. Yet, part of me would lament the total destruction of the most beautiful place of my childhood. I would still cry the loss of my white sandy beaches that would never be the same. It is a tough bargain to make.
There is still hope - Ivan might make his move to the west of Pensacola and spare my barrier island. I hope that is the outcome because I know my parents won't evacuate anyway, and I don't want to have to worry about their physical well-being on top of worrying about my daily court schedule at Bronx Family Court.
I find that I always try to say all of the right things. I am always overcompensating with my words in an attempt to prove my own eloquence. I bring this up only because I have seen some pointed contrasts in my life as of late - persons who don't try to say all of the right things and instead manage to say just one right thing that is so honest and pure it is worth all of my over-analyzed ramblings. Those small things sustain me in my time of stress because they give me something to replay in my mind in the moments before I fall asleep at night, ensuring that I at least have peaceful dreams.
4 months ago